


in event of moon disaster

by originality (smallredboy)



Category: Original Work
Genre: Existential Angst, M/M, Moonlanding, Peril, Period-Typical Homophobia, Stranded, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:00:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24555829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallredboy/pseuds/originality
Summary: Fate has ordained that the men who went to the moon to explore in peace will stay on the moon to rest in peaceis how it starts. He doesn't remember the rest.Or: the moon landing goes awry. A look on isolation, existentialism and gayness.
Relationships: Louis Brooks/Harvey Kelly, OMC/OMC
Comments: 4
Kudos: 6





	in event of moon disaster

**Author's Note:**

> i am sad about the moon and about being gay and i wrote this last night.
> 
> enjoy!

Harvey carries with him the small and stubborn decision to not get mad at destiny and at luck.

As he watches the Earth from the moon in his suit, the reality still hasn't sunk in. There was no chance for goodbyes, for teary-eyed farewells. Everything was falling apart and so the rest of the crew had to go, while him and Louis stayed behind. 

They went through the protocol, before this. They went through all those ugly variables, all the things that could go wrong. And a lot of things could go wrong, and damned Murphy's law — they did go wrong.

So he is stranded in the moon, in that heavy spacesuit, with his lover, with Louis. It's only a work of chance that they both ended there, really — the discussion of _who_ should end up setting foot on the Moon was a matter of debate for months, arguments arising between the crew about who was capable, who was better for the role, who would say the words on the script they had been handed better.

(Louis flubbed the script, but it didn't matter. None of it mattered now, as he looked over to the Earth.)

"There's a speech going on right now, you know," Louis tells him. There's a small, defeated smile on his face as he settles against the moon dust. There's no reason to remain on their feet, Harvey supposes, so he agrees and settles down with him. 

No one will see them— no one will _ever_ see them like this — but he still doesn't dare press close to him, like the Earth watches their every move, her judgment silent but lethal all the same.

"Yeah," he says.

 _Fate has ordained that the men who went to the moon to explore in peace will stay on the moon to rest in peace_ is how it starts. He doesn't remember the rest.

"They're talkin' about us like we were great and not lucky."

"We're both, I'd say," Harvey argues. He sighs. "If they knew it'd be a totally different story, wouldn't it?"

"Oh, Mother Earth left two of her sons on the Moon because they were sodomites?"

Harvey laughs, although it lacks any humor. "Yeah, somethin' like that. They'd have to do some heavy changes on the script, that's for damn sure."

There's a moment of silence, and they look at the Earth. They look at America and Europe and Africa and Asia and Australia, and they come up empty. It is strange to think there are other people there, that they are not the last two humans alive.

"I wish I could kiss you, you know," Louis says, suddenly.

"We could kiss," he tells him. "We could kiss."

"No we couldn't," he replies.

"We're…" Reality shatters around him, gets closer and closer to him, it making blood roar against his ears. "We are going to die here anyway, Louis."

"It takes fifteen seconds for us to lose oxygen without our suits," Louis replies. "Babe, I don't want us to die and for us to be found out because our corpses were kissing."

"They'd cover it up," he says. "They'd — they'd cover it up. Who knows what will happen once we die? Maybe next time they visit the Moon, they will know how to accept what love is like. What love _is_."

"And maybe they won't," he argues. "I just — I can't, babe."

He sucks in a breath. It's understandable; it's all too understandable. The love of his life wants to control his image, how he will be seen after they both die, and he can't blame him. He wishes he didn't want to give that up just to kiss him, to press against him until he's dizzy.

"Could we do something else romantic, then?"

Louis looks at him, turns his head.

"Like what?"

"We should dance," he says, a teasing lilt to his voice.

He manages to stand, as much as the Moon's gravity calls to him, and he offers him his gloved hand. "Would you like this dance, sir?" he teases.

Louis stands with his help.

It's quiet, as they swing, no music to help guide them except the beat of their hearts, the roar of their blood. There is no wind on the Moon, there is nothing but the existential silence of being all alone except for the one you love and all the ones who could not save you, even if they wanted to.

He presses his helmet against Louis' own, and he goes still as he keeps their hands together.

"I love you," Louis says. "Babe, I love you so fuckin' much. I can't believe this is happening, but I need you to know that I love you, okay?"

"Hey, hey," Harvey soothes. "We're — we're fine. For now. I love you too, okay? I love you too." He swallows. "We don't have to kiss, but I don't want to spend two days here. It is… too long. I need to not keep freaking out about this."

"I think you'll be freaked out until your last breath," he says.

"Won't you, too?"

Louis doesn't answer, but he knows what the answer is. They both do.

They both lay down on the moon's surface once again. It's warm, the sun hitting from their periphery. 

"When we die," Louis starts, voice shaky, "when we die, I want us to hold hands. It'll be able to be brushed off as just, you know, the fear of dying, and all that… so I think…"

"You think we should hold hands?"

"Yes," he nods.

"Of course."

He doesn't know if it's minutes or hours. He still looks at the Earth in wonder, in amazement, asking himself how is it possible that they are here while everyone else is there. It doesn't feel right. He reaches his hand out toward their planet, like he could touch it, like he could brush hands with someone else, feel that they're alive, that the entire world hasn't disappeared while they weren't watching.

"Are you ready?" Louis asks, softly.

"Yes," he says, looking at the Earth still. It is so small.

"Are you really?"

He swallows. "No."

"We can take however much time we need," he says.

"I want it to be our own decision. I don't want our tanks to just run out."

"Then we should do it."

"Yes," he says.

He reaches over with heavy arms to pull off his helmet. The clock ticks in his brain.

One. Two. Three.

Louis takes off his helmet too.

Four. Five. Six.

They look at each other, smile. Louis blows him a kiss. His blond hair, wispy and straight, looks like a halo.

Seven. Eight. Nine.

Harvey lays down completely, reaches his hand out.

Ten. Eleven. Twelve.

"I love you," Louis says as he takes his hand on his own.

"Love you too, babe."

Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen.

Asphyxia sets in — and Earth sits, unaware and yet knowing of its loss.


End file.
